Six Minutes to Gut Luggage & Vegan Pizza

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To a foodie, there are two classes of edibles; food and gut luggage. Food are those meals which are a well executed balance of ingredients that are healthy and nutritious. Gut luggage is stuff that you shove down your throat and you carry around until your next meal and you don’t worry about the balance of vitamins, minerals and complex proteins needed to sustain life without brain damage. Now one characteristic of gut luggage is that old saying “quick and easy to make.”

I went out to lunch yesterday and hadn’t prepared or thought about dinner because I knew I was going to lunch and thought I would be full. The only thing that appealed to me at all was a low calorie vegetarian Greek salad which I ate and was pretty good. The problem was when I reached home at 7 pm I was hungry.

Because of my new improved eating habits, there was no leftovers and nothing ready to be cooked. The six minute solution was to take a medium potato and nuke it on high for three minutes. Then I put 3 (1.5 oz) meat balls on the plate with a dab of tomato sauce on top and nuked everything for three more minutes. Since I didn’t have any low fat sour cream around that was white in color, I made do with smothering the potato with salt and pepper and putting a generous amount of butter on the nuked baked potato.

Of course this is the antithesis of coffee pot cooking where you plan the meal, the portions and the balance when you are not hungry and let it slow cook until you are ready to eat it. The biggest problem about the meal above, is that it is instantly reproducible. If I were still hungry in 7 minutes, after inhaling the first plate of food, I could do it again in six more minutes.

Obviously it is not the coffeepot cooking that is making me lose weight. It is the total change in eating habits which has me avoiding six minute gut luggage as a source of nourishment.

Some of my meals might seem close to six minute wonders like the Italian sandwiches. However, to find blackened pimento, I had to go to 4 stores and to find the Gorgonzola, three. These attractive sandwiches are a pain in the rear to find the real ingredients so you don’t get the urge to do that often and you still have to plan ahead, whereas there are always frozen meatballs in the house and potatoes because to be cost effective you have to buy the five pound bag.

I classify my tortilla pizza as food, along with the original recipe because of the fine ingredients and the attractive presentation. When you take the time to make a pretty meal, it takes more than six minutes and when you use the finest ingredients, your smaller portions will leave you well satisfied.

One of the problems with being a vegan is the apparent lack of understanding of the complex demands for nutriments by the human body. The body needs complex proteins and while I have restricted my meat input to about 5 oz when I’m meal planning and coffeepot cooking, I don’t eat meat everyday because I like a variety of fresh vegetables which can be delightfully combined into a variety of vegetarian meals and even vegan meals.

I cant understand why anybody would subject themselves to gut luggage like the following just to call themselves a vegan and be able to look a cow in the eye without shame. Perhaps the reason they want to look a cow in the eye is because there minds are protein deficient and they are operating at a very low mental capacity.

I pulled the following recipe from the net and swear that I would not even feed it to my vegan dog if I either had a dog or there was a breed of dog that would voluntary be a vegan without an abusive owner who is starving the animal into submission.

Vegan Pizza

Ingredients:

1 cup vegan pizza sauce (gene modified tomatoes are probably not vegan)

12 oz tofu (Tofu is not a naturally occurring food but was invented in a biochemical process about the time of Christ. It is produced by soaking, grinding, boiling and straining soybeans and adding various salts to the remaining milk.)

4 garlic cloves (to ward off meat eating vampires)

¼ teaspoon of onion powder

¼ Tsp red pepper flakes

1 tablespoon nutritional yeast (which “is grown on mixtures of beet and sugar cane molasses. After it is grown and the fermentation process is complete, the yeast is harvested, washed, pasteurized, and dried at a high temperature.” and the fermented sugar turned into vegan rum.)

Put all of the above into a blender and “blend until its an even weird orange color. Pour sauce stuff over” acceptable vegan bread and “microwave until sauce bubbles and you can see it harden a little.

The bold words are all quoted from the original recipe.

I still have enough brain cells left not to waste time either looking a cow in the eye or eating anything that is made from “sauce stuff” with a “weird orange color” that is microwaved until “you can see it harden a little.

This is the worst form of gut luggage:Garbage served with a sanctimonious message.

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